I know that in almost all my SOAP prompts I talk about my ups and downs with God. This one is no different! Many of us find that we question WHERE God is when we NEED Him MOST. I don't know about you but whenever I'm having life changing event or just having a rough time with something in particular, I find myself asking WHY just as much, if not more than just WHERE. This is what my SOAP will focus on this week.
Step 1: Scripture
Exodus 17:3 But tormented by thirst, they continued to argue with Moses. “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Are you trying to kill us, our children, and our livestock with thirst?”
Step 2: Observation
When I read this week's lesson, like Leslie, I wondered WHY God would lead His people to an area where He KNEW they would be attacked? I often wonder WHY God puts us through some of the things He puts us through. At the time, we don't know that answer. Sometimes, we never find the answer we're looking for.
I've said this countless times, I DON'T LIKE THE UNKNOWN. In fact, I hate it. I find it very hard for me to not question God and try to find the WHYs to some of the life changing events I've been through. It's something I struggle with constantly. I think that's why I would deviate from God and just try to find my own answers (THAT didn't go so well for me by the way lol).
I'm no longer afraid to admit that there were SO many times in the just the last four years that I've struggled, whether it was emotionally or financially. I've been to where I've been so broke, I didn't know how I was going to put food on the table for the girls. I've been in an emotional relationship with a friend that I know will never amount to anything because he's afraid of commitment and when I finally am OK with it, he comes back into my life. I've wondered if I'll ever find someone that would love my girls and me and then maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely all the time.
Now, as I'm going through this bible study with all of you and see on Facebook all the uplifting comments and prayers that others offer, I am starting to understand some of the WHYs I've been so desperate to know. As horrible as this may sound, if my husband hadn't passed away, I wouldn't have known how strong I really am or who I could count on when I needed it most. I wouldn't be working in a career I love orhave my business that helps other women feel good about themselves. Most importantly, my girls and I wouldn't be as close to my family as we are now and I certainly wouldn't be apart of this amazing bible study or group of people :)
Step 3: Application
I'm using this week's lesson as a stepping stone to what I hope to do every single day. I want to remember every day WHY I am here today and the events that led me here. I need to have that constant reminder so that I KNOW that even thoug God puts us through some of the worst events we will ever face, it is for a higher purpose. HE KNOWS WHY. I don't need to know WHY. What I need is to let go of that NEED to KNOW WHY (if that makes sense lol).
Step 4: Prayer
Lord, I ask you that you grant me peace and allow me to be ok with not knowing WHY. Allow me to just trust in your doing and not question you so much. Grant me peace to just accept what you bring into my life. Amen.